“My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from Him.”
Psalm 62:5
When we were little, my younger sisters and I loved to build ‘castles’ from junk and carboard boxes. Until recycling bin collection day, we were as big, brave, and successful as our imaginations. We did everything you would expect princesses who lived in a castle to do. We found secret tunnels filled with buried treasure, rescued animals from cruel owners, stopped thieves and saved people from drowning.
As I grew older, I kept building castles. They weren’t physical structures; they were dream worlds I populated with expectations I absorbed from books, my cultural environment and what I saw in others’ lives. Some of these expectations were about what I would or wouldn’t achieve in life; others were about how people would treat me, and others were about what I felt God should do for me. Some were big aspirations, but eventually the pressures of life burnt down my cardboard castle, and my expectations disintegrated. I was left discouraged, hurt, angry and bitter that my life hadn’t turned out like I expected. If I couldn’t achieve my dreams, then what was there to look forward to in life?
Our expectations influence our thought processes, feelings, and actions. If you are expecting a friend to visit, you will plan to be at home. People make investments because they anticipate a financial benefit. Beliefs also shape our character, with Proverbs 23:7a reminding us, “For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he”. As someone recently shared with me, whether we have big expectations for our lives, or whether we feel we are doomed to fail at everything, “We can mess up our lives and distort reality with misdirected expectations.”
What is the difference between faith and our expectations? Faith is belief in God and that He is faithful to His character and promises. The Bible lists many certainties we have 100% confidence will occur. Jesus is coming again, just as He said in John 14:3, “And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also.” Christ has saved all Christians from judgement to come: “Much more then, being now justified by His blood, we shall be saved from wrath through Him” (Romans 5:9). God promises us help to avoid sinning when we are tempted: “God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it” (1 Corinthians 10:13b).
Faith in God is never misdirected, but our self-focused expectations can often be. Faith pleases God (Hebrew 11:6), but expectations not aligned with God’s will do not please Him. Sometimes we are like Simon Peter, so confident in our own ability that we ignore Jesus’ warnings and betray our Lord (John 18). Sometimes we are like the Israelites, who trusted in the military might of neighbouring countries, yet were soundly rebuked, “Woe to them that go down to Egypt for help… But they look not unto the Holy One of Israel, neither seek the Lord” (Isaiah 31:1). And sometimes we are like the prophet Elisha’s servant, who was sure he was going to die when he saw the armies of Syria sent to kill Elisha (2 Kings 6). “And Elisha prayed, and said, LORD, I pray thee, open his eyes, that he may see. And the LORD opened the eyes of the young man; and he saw: and, behold, the mountain was full of horses and chariots of fire round about Elisha” (v17). Our eyes are so blinded by the limitations of our life experiences, human perspectives and circumstances that we fail to see how God will work. How do we view God? A fairy godmother who exists for the sole purpose of granting us whatever we wish for? An entity I want to approve and never question my plans for my life? Instead, we should reverence and serve the One who is “Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace” (Isaiah 9:6b).
It's inevitable that our expectations don’t always align with God’s plan for our lives. Our perspective is human; God’s perspective is divine: “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord” (Isaiah 55:8). We are new creatures in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17), called to live lives that glorify God (1 Corinthians 6:20). However, we retain the flesh, and our expectations often link back to those old three culprits, the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes and the pride of life (1 John 2:16).
How do we know when our expectations and plans for our lives are not what God wants for us? One indicator is how we pray, or don’t pray, about that area of our lives. Perhaps you find you’re praying about everything in your life except one area. You might tell yourself that’s because you already know what to do, but is it really? The Apostle Paul had a clear calling and gifting to preach, yet he often humbly asked the churches to pray “that God would open unto us a door of utterance, to speak the mystery of Christ” (Colossians 4:3b). No, Paul did not believe you should stop praying once God tells you what to do. When people avoid a topic in conversation, it’s usually because they suspect or know that the other person will have a different view. When you avoid talking to God about something, it’s often because you are worried that God will tell you not to do the thing you have set your heart on. Instead of claiming to know better that God, pray Psalm 143:10, “Teach me to do Thy will: for Thou art my God: Thy spirit is good; lead me into the land of uprightness.” And pray Psalm 19:14, “Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in Thy sight, O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer.”
Test your expectations. Sometimes we are reluctant to share our dreams with others because it will expose our motives. Maybe our reasons are self-centred or not what God wants. Better a few blunt words from someone close to you, than for you to heedlessly proceed down that path and end up with a pile of ashes rather than the substance and blessing of doing God’s will. Slow down. Don’t rush in. The Bible is full of examples of people who rushed in without consulting God first, or other godly people. Remember, the Lord “maketh the devices of the people of none effect, [But] the counsel of the Lord standeth forever” (Psalm 33:10b-11a). Our plans will fail, but God’s never will.
Evaluate where you find fulfilment. Often our dreams and expectations are a quest to find a sense of fulfilment. As I reflect on my own dreams, I recognise a desire to prove that I am somebody who could achieve things that would impress others. Instead, God is teaching me that fulfilment is found in Him alone: “Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think any thing as of ourselves; but our sufficiency is of God” (2 Corinthians 3:5).
Are we happy with cardboard castles built with our own expectations? Or do we look to build on the foundation of Jesus Christ with things that last for eternity? God tells us “fire shall try every man's work of what sort it is” (1 Corinthians 3:13b). May our expectations become God focused, not self-focused, as we learn to live the prayer of Psalm 62:5, “My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from Him.”
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