“And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works: Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.”
Hebrews 10:24-25 [KJV]
Sharing the Word
“Coffee and Cake Night!” the advertisement read. “An opportunity for ladies from all walks of life to share fellowship. Great laughs and friendships are made each month.”
This advertisement was circulated recently by a large church denomination. If you take out the one word ‘fellowship’, the writing could describe a secular Country Women’s Association (CWA) gathering. You see, according to the advertisement, fellowship is simply a social gathering involving coffee, cake, having a good laugh and making friends.
When we use the word fellowship, sometimes we’re talking about a get-together, a specific church congregation, a ladies’ fellowship, or an organisation of associated churches. Sometimes we interchange the words friendship and fellowship, but are they really the same?
A friend is described as someone who is dear to us, but the word fellowship comes from the Greek ‘koinonia’ and means partnership or communion. While the Bible teaches us to be friendly and impartial (James 2:1-4), it also commands, “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?” (2 Corinthians 6:14). I can be friends, to some degree, with others who have different views. However, to be yoked in fellowship with someone, I must be travelling the same path as them. Fellowship is associated with unity in doctrine and practice; with the early church described as, “And they continued stedfastly in the apostles' doctrine and fellowship, and in breaking of bread, and in prayers” (Acts 2:42). We are commanded to not forsake “the assembling of ourselves together,” (Hebrews 10:25a), and instructed “Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous:” (1 Peter 3:8).
Fellowship with each other is only possible if each of us first has fellowship with God. Prior to talking about the practicalities of fellowship with each other, Hebrews 10 tells us, “Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the blood of Jesus… Let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith,” (Hebrews 10:19, 22a). Jesus prayed for Christians, “That they all may be one; as Thou, Father, art in Me, and I in Thee, that they also may be one in Us,” (John 17:21a). To have fellowship with God we need to be saved (Romans 10:9), and obedient Christians. “If we say that we have fellowship with Him, and walk in darkness, we lie, and do not the truth… If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness,” (1 John 1:6,9).
However, fellowship is not guaranteed even if both people are Christians. What if you believe you can ignore the Bible’s teaching on marriage, for instance? Since I believe the whole Bible is God’s Word, we will struggle to have fellowship. We’re not on the same path. On the other hand, if we agree on obeying all of God’s Word, we can still have fellowship, even if I’m 27 and you’re 80, you’re a mum of five and I’m single, or we have a difference in practical application over whether a skirt should be knee-length or ankle-length. We are still united by what Paul calls the “mutual faith both of you and me” (Romans 1:12).
Fellowship involves interaction with a minimum of one other person. Listening to a sermon on your laptop, praying alone, or playing netball together is not fellowship with others. However, the sermon might give you a thought to share, prayer might help you have the right heart towards the person, and after the netball game, you might have the opportunity to chat and encourage each other in the Lord. Church services, ladies groups, and young adult Bible studies (hopefully) facilitate fellowship by bringing together like-minded Christians to consider God’s teachings. I’ve often been blessed and challenged by fellowship after such events, and this blog post idea came from a conversation after a Sunday evening church service. Jesus promises us, “For where two or three are gathered together in My name, there am I in the midst of them,” (Matthew 18:20). The potential for fellowship and blessing is there if we are united in the Lord, whether we are interacting in person, by telephone or by a video call, and whether the occasion is an organised church event, a function, meal or walk.
So how do we turn an interaction with the potential for fellowship into actual fellowship? We’ve all been to gatherings with other Christians where we’ve come home disappointed, craving something deeper. Sometimes the gathering was too activity-focused rather than fellowship-focused, or sometimes fellowship could have, but didn’t happen. Sometimes we don’t know each other well enough. Qualities of good friendship are also qualities that facilitate fellowship, such as honesty (Proverbs 27:6), love (Proverbs 17:17), humility (Philippians 2:3), forgiveness (Colossians 3:13) and self-sacrifice (John 15:13). Like friendship, fellowship is a two-way interaction. Galatians 6:2 says, “Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ”. As we get to know, trust and listen to each other, we learn to honestly share what God is doing in our lives, and “speak a word in season to him that is weary” (Isaiah 50:4). This morning, a busy young mother took time to share with me with the phrase, “She hath done what she could,” from Mark 14:8. She said she felt she sometimes wasn’t achieving much, but God was reminding her to be faithful in all things. Right at that point, her sharing was just what I needed to hear. Remember, a little word of scripture can be a big encouragement to a weary heart!
But we can’t give out unless we take in. Isaiah 50:4 continues, “[The Lord] wakeneth morning by morning, He wakeneth mine ear to hear as the learned.” How can I help someone listen to God if I’m not listening to God? “But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another… he that saith he is in the light, and hateth his brother, is in darkness even until now,” (1 John 2:7,9). As Jesus said, “Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye,” (Matthew 7:5).
Sometimes it may feel like you are the only one in your friendship group seeking to go beyond the superficial. But be encouraged; God values our fellowship with each other. Malachi 3:16 tells us, “Then they that feared the LORD spake often one to another: and the LORD hearkened, and heard it, and a book of remembrance was written before Him for them that feared the LORD, and that thought upon His name.”
As the Lord’s return draws near, we need to practically apply Hebrews 10:24-25; “And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works: Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching”.
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