“But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, to fulfil the lusts thereof.”
Romans 13:14 [KJV]
Hearts
Right on cue, the music rises to a crescendo and the minister signals to the congregation. Everyone stands, all eyes turning to the church door. Here comes the bride in her white dress, a bouquet in her hands…
Christian weddings are exciting. We celebrate what God is doing in the couple’s life, and are reminded of how much Christ loves His bride, the church (Ephesians 5). The world claims marriage is just a piece of paper; but the Bible defines marriage as a life-long, legal commitment before God between one man and one woman (Mark 10:7-9), and commands all Christians to practice personal purity, “For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication” (1 Thessalonians 4:3).
We typically think of purity as abstinence from sexual relationships outside of marriage. True, but the word pure simply means ‘clean’, and Matthew 5:8 says, “Blessed are the pure in heart; for they shall see God”. How can we be pure in our thought life, when even our own hormones seem to sometimes work against us? Hormones are incredible chemical regulators that work 24/7 to keep us alive, but fluctuations in just four of them can trigger emotions and desires, that seem, er, problematic, if you are a single young lady. Additionally, we are surrounded by impure books, visuals, and song lyrics. We live in a sensual culture where “men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil,” (John 3:19b). So, what does Romans 13:14 mean when it says, “But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, to fulfil the lusts thereof”?
“Put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ”. This phrase refers to the process of sanctification, where we grow in Christlikeness and Christian maturity. 1 John 3:2b-3 says, “…but we know that, when He shall appear, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is. And every man that hath this hope in him purifieth himself, even as He is pure.” Christ is coming again; we know that “now is our salvation nearer than when we believed,” (Romans 13:11b). Verse 12 tells us to “put on the armour of light”, which reminds us of the powerful parts of God’s armour described in Ephesians 6; truth, righteousness, the gospel, faith, and the Word of God. As one girl shared with me recently, “we might walk through the gutters of this world, but our mind can be far above with our God in purity and holiness.” Our calling is to serve and please God, not become enslaved to earthly desires. “If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God. Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth,” (Colossians 3:1-2).
To enable us to focus on serving and growing more like Christ, we need to “Make no provision for the flesh.” No matter how spiritual we think we are, Jesus warns all of us to, “Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak,” (Matthew 26:41). This means we need to limit our exposure to situations and things that trigger impure thoughts or actions. Beware of impulsively selecting books, films or online content. Not every book that is marketed as a ‘clean read’ is a ‘pure’ read. Some directors make one good film but the rest are trash. Check the reviews for the specific title–I have returned dozens of library books to the shelves after a quick Google brought up reader reviews revealing the book has problematic content. Beware of emotional browsing on the internet without a clear focus. One link or video will lead to another, and before you know it, you’ve watched twelve sixty-second Hallmark movie trailers in a row, six of which feature the same actress kissing four different (shirtless) men.
Practice proactive self-preservation. Good books and films depicting wholesome, let alone Christ-centred, relationships are hard to find, but we need them to reset our minds and shovel out the impurity that has crept in, invited or uninvited. I’ve recently begun colouring Bible verse pictures while listening to downloaded audio content instead of watching YouTube. Read your Bible, take up a hobby, catch up with friends, get more sleep–find and commit to taking in and thinking on whatsoever “things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report,” (Philippians 4:8a).
We also need to be like the Bereans, who “searched the scriptures daily, whether those things were so,” (Acts 17:11). The world around us has corrupted our expectations, so it is critical we have a Biblical understanding of physical and emotional boundaries. God’s way of escape from temptation (1 Corinthians 10:12-13) is often a choice to avoid compromising situations. If we do sin, we are assured that, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness,” (1 John 1:9).
Remember, a Biblical marriage is founded on love for God, respect for His word and mutual trust and service–and not on lust and emotions. So why would we put ourselves in one-on-one situations with a young man where there is any possibility of emotions and thoughts leading us into impurity? Conversely, some girls, in the name of Christian purity, avoid any interaction with a male, and then find the sight of a single man triggers daydreams of wedding bells. Why? Because they have unwittingly ended up valuing Christian men only as potential marriage partners, and not as fellow “heirs according to the promise,” (Galatians 3:29) or brothers in the Lord. Get to know men, regardless of their marriage eligibility status, in group contexts such as gatherings and church settings. As one person told me years ago, it’s amazing how quickly an emotional crush disappears when a young woman observes a young man in group settings and discovers–horror of horrors–that he is less perfect than Mr Darcy of Pride and Prejudice fame.
In summary, purity is not about what you have or haven’t done in the past. It’s not a bargaining tool which will guarantee you the best husband. It is a present commitment to “put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, to fulfil the lusts thereof,” (Romans 13:14). For those of us who are single, my prayer is that we will all be worthy of this commendation; “The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit,” (1 Corinthians 7:34a).
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