Learning and living by example

“Let no man despise thy youth, but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity.”

1 Timothy 4:12 [KJV]

Ringed Xenica Butterfly

My toddler nephew watched closely as I threw a ball back and forth. His face was scrunched up with confusion as his little brain tried to understand that balls could be thrown, not just held tightly. Eventually he copied me, and now he loves to throw a ball and crawl after it.

Just like my nephew, we learn by observing and imitating. But no two people, not even committed Christians, live identical lives. How do we know who to imitate? How can we ensure our lives are also a good witness to others?

Jesus Christ, God Himself and yet human, is our ultimate role model. Jesus told His disciples, “For I have given you an example, that ye should do as I have done to you” (John 13:15). We see in Jesus the characteristics of a life dedicated to doing God’s will: “But that the world may know that I love the Father; and as the Father gave me commandment, even so I do” (John 14:31a). Jesus “was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin” (Hebrews 4:15b), and He shows and enables us to “…love one another; as I have loved you...” (John 13:34b).

We also learn by observing other people, whether Bible characters or those we encounter in our homes, churches, workplaces and other settings. The apostle Paul, someone who lived out the Christian life he preached, declared, “Brethren, be followers together of me, and mark them which walk so as ye have us for an ensample” (Philippians 3:17). While we can see good patterns for our lives in Christian leaders, parents and mature believers, God holds us individually accountable for our own actions (Romans 14:12) and we must carefully discern when to not follow someone who has fallen into the Pharisee trap of “teaching for doctrines the commandments of men” (Mark 7:7b). Paul tells us we identify these people by their hypocrisy: “They profess that they know God; but in works they deny Him, being abominable, and disobedient, and unto every good work reprobate” (Titus 1:16). We need to be like the Berean church, who “received the word with all readiness of mind, and searched the scriptures daily, whether those things were so” (Acts 17:11b).

We are also called to be Christian role models. Yes, we are witnesses to unbelievers (Matthew 5:16) but other Christians learn practical aspect of how to live for the Lord by observing our lives. But am I really qualified for this? I’m young and single, struggle with chronic illness, often fail, and am sometimes so disorganised I’ve left the house without (whisper) brushing my teeth. Can’t I leave the role modelling to the older women (Titus 2:4-5)? Please?

No. Regardless of our age, sex or maturity, the words Paul shared with new pastor Timothy apply to all of us: “…be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity” (Timothy 4:12b). This verse challenged me about my interactions with other Christians. When I speak to other sisters in the Lord, are my words encouraging or belittling? Do I demonstrate my love through action, with the same heart Paul had for the Corinthian church; “And I will very gladly spend and be spent for you” (2 Corinthians 12:15a). Is my faith and commitment to God the primary focus of my life? Do I take steps to keep myself pure in body and thought, freeing me to fully embrace God’s will for me now and in the future?

Yet focusing on how others interpret my actions is crippling: “The fear of man bringeth a snare: but whoso putteth his trust in the LORD shall be safe” (Proverbs 29:25). If people might misinterpret what I do, isn’t it better to do nothing that could cause them to stumble? This attitude is also wrong. While it’s important to appear and be pure and blameless (Philippians 2:15-16), Paul warned in 1 Timothy 4 about the evil of hypocrisy, and tells the Galatians, “If I yet pleased men, I should not be the servant of Christ” (Galatians 1:10b).

To live a genuine life, you need a genuine heart. Jesus tells us; “…Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh. A good man out of the good treasure of the heart bringeth forth good things…” (Matthew 12:34b-35a). When we allow the indwelling Holy Spirit to teach us the first commandment: “And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength” we are also enabled to fulfil the second, “Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself” (Mark 12:30-31).

We will never be perfect examples. But when we put God first, other Christians can be inspired and challenged by the evidence in our lives of a heart that truly loves the Lord.