Modesty

“In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;

But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works.”

1 Timothy 2:9-10 [KJV]]

The world bombards us with many messages about women’s clothing, jewellery, cosmetics and hairstyles. We are told we must out-compete other women to attract (or keep) a man’s attention. Advertisements say, ‘if you have it, flaunt it.’ If we fail to keep up with the trends, somehow this makes us failures. Feminists even claim it is somehow empowering for a woman to share bikini photographs on social media or pose naked on a magazine cover. Over and over, directly and indirectly, we are told that modesty – especially skirt wearing in western cultures – is outdated and legalistic.

It’s controversial to even suggest that the Bible discusses clothing standards, and that these standards may clash with the messages promoted by the world around us. If male leaders talk about female modesty, they are attacked as bigoted creeps, or worse, excusers of sexual violence. If women talk about female modesty, they are often derided as disloyal body-shamers. I haven’t even defined modesty, and yet I can feel my body tense defensively. Will other women think I have too much liberty or legalism in my clothing habits? What if someone is upset by something I say? Everyone seems to have strong views on appropriate dress… but no one really wants to talk about it.

While we often think of modesty in terms of clothing, even the secular definition recognises that modesty is an attitude (of the heart) revealed through one’s behaviour.  The Oxford Dictionary gives two definitions of modesty: firstly, “having a moderate opinion of oneself… freedom from arrogance or pride,” and secondly, “Decorum, propriety; sobriety of thought, speech, conduct”.

The Bible defines modesty as the appropriate outward expression of a woman’s faith in God. In 2 Timothy 2:9-10, we read that women should adorn themselves in that “which becometh women professing godliness.” There’s a similar thought in Titus 2:3-5, where the aged women are instructed “that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness”. Pair these with Jesus’ words in John 14:15, “If ye love me, keep my commandments.” If we claim to be Christians, then we need to set aside our opinions, and let Christ be Lord of our wardrobes. Modesty is not outward conformity. It involves a heart attitude that is expressed outwardly in our behaviour, speech and clothing. Let’s briefly consider these areas.

A modest heart

A godly woman is humble, recognising that God saved her, not because of her own works of righteousness, but according to His mercy (Titus 3:5), and that God’s grace continues to enable her (2 Corinthians 9:8). She has a “a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price” (1 Peter 3:4b). She is also clear about her priorities in life. She is committed to obeying God rather than men (Acts 5:29) and living in a way that brings glory to God (1 Corinthians 10:31). She is also an emotionally secure woman. She is freed from pressure to follow the world’s self-effort philosophies, because she believes by faith that God gives good things to them that ask Him (Matthew 7:11), and “that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28b).

Modest behaviour and speech

The discussed heart attitudes are demonstrated in the godly woman’s behaviour and speech. We don’t have time to elaborate fully on this, but here are a few applications. She is not a boaster, because she knows that God sees and rewards (Matthew 6:4), and, unlike the Pharisees, she loves the praise of God more than the praise of man (John 12:42-43). She seeks glory for God, not herself (John 7:18). She doesn’t try to attract people’s attention by trying to be the loudest, prettiest, smartest or most spiritual looking woman of her acquaintances. Neither is she flirtatious. She trusts God, not her own scheming, to join two in godly marriage (Matthew 19:6), and recognises that ‘catching a man’ is far less important than obeying God.

Modest clothing

Now for the controversial part. What does modest clothing look like?

Before we discuss some specific principles, here are some introductory comments. Firstly, we can all learn and grow in this area. Before studying this topic this week, I couldn’t articulate clear scriptural principles for the way I dressed. Perhaps it wasn’t surprising that during this study, the Lord pointed out that one of my skirts has an inappropriate split. Now, I feel better equipped to determine whether my own wardrobe honours God, and I hope that this study will do the same for you. Secondly, as previously discussed, modesty involves our heart, behaviour, speech and clothing. Obeying God in one area, but disobeying Him in another would bring the same condemnation on us that the Pharisees received when they tithed mint and cumin but ignored weightier matters (Matthew 23:23). Thirdly, the following principles of modesty also apply to men. Interestingly, the word translated ‘modest’ [i.e. fitting/appropriate], in 1 Timothy 2:9-10, is also used to describe the ‘good behaviour’ of a bishop in 1 Timothy 3:2. However, given this blog’s audience, we’ll focus on examples of female modesty.

So here are some Biblical principles to help each one of us choose God-honouring outfits.

Principle #1 – A godly woman’s outfit is not motivated by competitiveness  

In the Apostle Paul’s day, Roman women flaunted their wealth through broided hair, gold, pearls and costly array (1 Timothy 2:9). Today, in both secular and Christian circles, women can easily become consumed by brand names, trends and attempts to out-do each other’s hairstyles and clothing. Gaudy clothes, over-elaborate styles and unnatural hair colours are just some attempts women use to stand out from their peers. Yet Colossians 3:2 reminds us to “Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth.” A competitive attitude not only distracts us from following God but causes trouble for others. Galatians 5:26 warns, “Let us not be desirous of vain glory, provoking one another, envying one another.” While dress is important, a godly woman is careful to not over-emphasise clothes, hairstyles and shoes. She has more eternal priorities for her time and money, and finds her self-worth in being a child of God (1 John 3:2-3), rather than out-competing other women.

Principle #2 – A godly woman takes care of her outfit and appearance

A godly woman recognises that she is an ambassador for Christ (2 Corinthians 5:20) and the light of the world (Matthew 5:14). “What,” 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 asks, “know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.” We should take care how we dress and present. This demonstrates that we value being a representative of Christ, and that we will not let either sloppy or inappropriate clothing hinder being a witness for Him.

Principle #3 – A godly woman’s clothing covers her nakedness

Secular society has inconsistent views on appropriate ‘coverage’, but sensual advertising focuses on one of two body areas: the breasts, or the thigh. The thigh, anatomically speaking, is the set of muscles that run from the hip to the top of the knee. In the Bible, breasts are associated with either nursing a child (as in Psalm 22:9) or sexual desires (as in Proverbs 5:19). In Isaiah 47:2-3 the city of Babylon is graphically described as a woman who is considered naked after ‘baring her leg and uncovering her thigh’. So, if breasts are for babies and husbands, and baring the thigh is considered nakedness, then it is logical to suggest that God-honouring clothing provides coverage from the breast area to somewhere close to the knee. Clothing is not a social construct, or an evolutionary adaption, or whatever other origin story people claim. Genesis 3:21 records that after they sinned, “Unto Adam also and to his wife did the LORD God make coats of skins, and clothed them.” While modern fashions often focus on uncovering the body, it’s important to remember that God created clothing with the primary purpose of covering Adam and Eve’s nakedness.

Principle #4 – A godly woman’s clothing should not be sexually suggestive

Some people react strongly to this argument, saying that the man is to blame if he has lustful thoughts about a woman. They are right to condemn the man’s sin: God promises all Christians, including men having lustful thoughts, “a way of escape” (1 Corinthians 10:13), and the Bible clearly states that “every one of us shall give account of himself to God” (Romans 14:12). But this does not permit a woman to rebel against God’s dress standards. Sounds confusing? Let’s consider how this works in soul winning. Ezekiel 3:18-19 says, “When [thou] …speakest [not] to warn the wicked from his wicked way, to save his life; the same wicked man shall die in his iniquity; but his blood will I require at thine hand. Yet, if thou warn the wicked …and he turn not … he shall die in his iniquity; but thou hast delivered thy soul.” The wicked man who rejects God is accountable for his sin; but the Christian who refuses to share is separately answerable for disobeying God in this area too. Similarly, a man who surrenders to sexual temptation is accountable for his sin; and the woman who dresses immodestly is separately answerable to God for her sin.

God has created us with a distinct female shape, and like other women, I enjoy finding feminine clothes that suit my body. But what I’m talking about here is sexually suggestive clothing that deliberately draws the eye to the breast and thigh areas. Such clothing includes figure-hugging garments that (as my mother would say) “leave nothing to the imagination” and colourful underwear deliberately worn under see-through fabrics. It also includes features designed to mimic nakedness, such as illusion mesh or flesh-coloured fabrics, or tops with strategically placed patterns or wording over the nipples.

Some people argue you must dress a certain way to attract (or keep) a guy’s attention. They smile smugly and say, “Look dearie, you’re single. I changed the way I dress and got myself a man.” But this argument is highly flawed. God tells us to dress modestly, and only obedience will lead to lasting blessing. Psalm 128:1 says, “Blessed is every one that feareth the LORD; that walketh in his ways.” God is to be the foundation of a godly marriage (Matthew 19:6), rather than sexual attraction. The story of Amnon’s rape of Tamar (2 Samuel 13) is an example of how quickly a man’s lust can turn to hatred. If I were to be married one day, I want a godly man who is attracted to my character and values, not just my body. In the meantime, I’m focusing on letting the Lord control all my life, and that includes my wardrobe.

Principle #5 – A godly woman’s outfit is gender distinct

Deuteronomy 22:5 says, “The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the LORD thy God.” The Bible is adamant that God created two distinct sexes, male and female (Genesis 1:27, Mark 10:6). In the Bible, men in the temple would wear breeches (Exodus 28:42) and men would ‘gird up their loins’ i.e. tuck their robes into a waist band to create a pair of baggy shorts. The only reference to the latter in the context of women is metaphorical, with Proverbs 31 recording the godly woman girded her loins with strength. It’s also interesting that almost universally skirts have been considered traditional female clothing. Pants were rarely worn in western society until the 1900s, and were only popularised in the sexual revolutions of 1960s and 70s. One article I read stated that pants and masculine haircuts for women became a symbol of “the feminist quest to reject gender binaries that strictly separated masculine and feminine roles”. Today, society belittles sexual differences, encourages cross-dressing and embraces gender-blurring clothing lines. Against this backdrop, I want it to be obvious I embrace the womanhood God gave me. And I do this by having long hair (1 Corinthians 11:15) and wearing a skirt.

Principle #6 – A godly woman’s outfit reflects God’s values, not the world’s values

God’s values are very different from the world’s values. The world values “the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life” (1 John 2:15-17). The world values conformity (Romans 12:2) and materialism (Matthew 6:32). But God calls us to “love not the world, neither the things that are in the world” (1 John 2:15), and says, “Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you,” (2 Corinthians 6:17). Wearing what the world wears and behaving as the world behaves, suggests we support the world’s values. Dressing distinctly is a visual indicator to both ourselves and others that we are Christ’s. We should also be careful of wearing clothes that could be interpreted as a direct or implied endorsement of things contrary to our values. For example, fishnet weave stockings are commonly associated with drag queens and prostitutes. Additionally, I once threw out a rainbow jumper, because I didn’t want to run the risk of people interpreting my clothing as support of the same-sex marriage debate happening in Australia at the time.

Principle #7 – A godly woman’s outfit is situation appropriate

Lastly, a godly woman needs to consider whether her outfit will remain modest in the circumstances. She needs to pray for God to give of his wisdom (James 1:5) to help her perceive and deal with potential problems. An outfit that looks nice when standing may be immodest when bending or sitting. Heavier fabrics or leggings under a skirt provide better protection for modesty on windy days or during activities. If you have a loose neckline, beware of holding babies – they have a habit of either slipping their hand down the front of your shirt, or pulling on necklines and exposing your underwear. The list could go on; I am sure you can think of other circumstance-specific considerations.

Conclusion

So, in conclusion, it’s clear the Bible has much to say about how godly women should dress. Individual clothing preferences are subjective, but principles of modesty should be objectively based on Biblical teaching. We need to prayerfully consider our outfits in the light of all – not just a few – of these scriptural principles. And above all, may the Lord help each of us to live lives that “becometh women professing godliness”.