Be an example

“Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity.”

1 Timothy 4:12 [KJV]

Woorabinda Lake SA

In January this year, I altered a couple of bridesmaid dresses. Each dress needed new double-layer sleeves, but I lacked one essential thing – a pattern. I couldn’t just cut and stitch without one; the sleeves would never match, the layers wouldn’t sit correctly, and I’d waste fabric.

So, my sister and I found a top with sleeves similar to the look the bride wanted, and after much drawing, testing and adjusting, we produced a pattern. I cut out the pieces of fabric we needed, and the sleeves turned out looking just as we had hoped – because we began with the right pattern.

Just as the outcome in dress making depends on the pattern you follow, our spiritual walk is affected by the examples we follow. But Scripture goes further than this; saying that we also must be good patterns for others to follow. In 1 Timothy 4:12 Paul tells Timothy, a young pastor, “Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity.” Timothy was told to model the Christlike character he wanted his congregation to follow.

This week, I want to consider how we can be good examples for other Christian women and girls. Titus tells us older women are to teach younger women, but women of all ages need to be good role models for each other. As we step through these six areas that Paul told Timothy to be an example in, we’ll look at just one application under each heading. I’m not a perfect example in any of these areas myself – in fact, some are areas the Lord has recently challenged me about – but perhaps the Lord will prompt you to think of other application areas as well.

In word

Unsurprisingly, “In word” refers to what we say. The Bible says much about the tongue, including in Ephesians 4:29, which says, “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.” Most of us try not to say wrong things, but this verse goes further, saying our words should also edify, that is, build up, or strengthen each other. Now, I enjoy discussing clothes, hobbies, and babies as much as any other woman, but if all our conversations are about temporal things, we’re disobeying God’s instructions. Ladies, theology and its application aren’t conversation topics reserved for men. Encouraging a Christian sister with Scripture isn’t just the job of older women. We are all called to grow in maturity (2 Peter 3:18; Hebrews 6:1-3). Why? To pat ourselves on the back? No. To honour God, and encourage and strengthen brethren in word and deed (Romans 15:1-2; 1 Thessalonians 5:14).

In conversation

‘Conversation’ is an Old English word meaning conduct, behaviour or manner of life. So the question is: are our lives Christlike? Could we honestly say to other Christian woman, as the Apostle Paul said to the Corinthians, “Be ye followers of me, even as I also am of Christ” (1 Corinthians 11:1)? Lately, the Lord has been challenging me about the importance of surrender in all areas of my life. Romans 12:1b says to “present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God”. The verse doesn’t say to present just part of ourselves – the Greek word ‘soma’ refers to the whole body. Yet we often hold back from God’s control just a ‘little’ bitterness, a ‘trivial’ pastime or a ‘small’ concern. But tolerating rebellion – no matter how ‘small’ – in our own lives indicates little respect for Jesus’ instruction, “If ye love me, keep my commandments” (John 14:15), and could encourage others to do the same on a larger and more destructive scale.

In charity

In John 13:34-35, Jesus commands us to love as He has loved us, saying, “By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.” I’m painfully aware how often I fail to reach this standard of testimony. So how do we learn to love others with God’s love?

We pray. Not just saying we will pray, but actually doing it. We are told to pray for our enemies (Matthew 5:44) but also for our brethren (1 Thessalonians 5:25). Prayer brings us into God’s presence (Psalm 42:1-2) and aligns us with His will (1 John 5:14). Prayer transforms our heart attitudes, as the authors of the Psalms repeatedly testify, and, like Paul did, we can pray specifically for a heart that abounds in love (Philippians 1:9). A strong, consistent prayer life, and grounding in the Word of God, will fruit in love that becomes a godly example for others.

In spirit

The word spirit is a broad term – it can mean one’s soul or mind, or else one’s disposition or attitude. It’s essential our attitude is a good example to others – a negative attitude in the local church spreads faster than the flu. That’s likely why Paul told the Philippians, “Do all things without murmurings and disputings” (2:14). Bad attitudes show up in our words– “Outreach is on again? We just did that!”–and our actions. For example, consistently arriving late to church may indicate we care more about socialising after the service than worshiping God during the service.

Conversely, a positive attitude towards God, the church and one another builds up our brothers and sisters in the Lord. Hebrews 10:24-25 says, “And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works: Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.”

In faith

Hebrews 6:19 reminds us that our hope in Christ is “an anchor of the soul, both sure and stedfast”. Life’s storms can shake us, and we can be tempted to drift off course towards a place that appears more restful. But if we’re firmly anchored in Christ, we can ride the storm out without being swept off course emotionally or spiritually.

It’s hard to stay faithful when your heart is breaking, you’re afraid to face people, and you can’t see a way through. But lift your eyes to the LORD who created the heavens (Isaiah 45:18) and let His strength be made perfect in your weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9-10). Be encouraged by thinking about examples of how God used similar trials in the lives of Bible characters or other Christians for their good and His glory. And ask the Lord for victory over the temptation to quit, and to help you be a good testimony, so that you can in turn encourage others (2 Corinthians 1:4).

In purity

A critical area in which we need to set a good example is how we relate to men. Proverbs 4:23 says, “Keep thy heart with all diligence, for out of it are the issues of life”. As women, it’s easy to form inappropriate emotional dependencies or romantic interests – but harder to maintain emotional, spiritual and physical purity.

We must learn to appropriately relate to – not avoid – men. Total avoidance is impractical, not Scriptural and can distort our view of men, causing us to see them purely through a romantic lens instead of as brothers in Christ. Yet we must take heed lest we fall, (1 Corinthians 10:12), avoid the appearance of evil (1 Thessalonians 5:22), and not be a stumbling block to others (Romans 14:13,21). This means, for men not related to us, we should avoid being alone together, oversharing on personal matters or frequent conversations with the same man. Instead, relating in public or group settings, or occasional conversations protects our purity and sets a good example for others to follow.

So this fortnight, let’s trust the Lord to help us be a good example to other Christians in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, and in purity.