“The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;
That they may teach the young women...”
Titus 2:3-4a [KJV]
Women minister to others in many ways, but the term ‘women’s ministries’ typically refers to organised gatherings where women teach other women on Biblical subjects. These events could include Bible studies, retreats, fellowship nights, camps, prayer groups, or outreach meetings, organised under the umbrella of a local church.
Women’s ministries can be incredible spiritual supports. But we’ve probably all witnessed, or heard of, some not-so-good experiences too. How do you ensure women’s ministries edify rather than destroy people’s faith?
I wrote a list of questions and took them to someone who has a lot of more experience than me (Titus 2:3-4). Yes, that’s right, I interviewed (drum roll) …my Mum. My mother, Miranda, is wife to Nigel, mum of eight, and ‘Grawm-ma’ of four. She was saved in her late teens, and has been a Christian for over fifty years. She has attended hundreds, and led dozens, of women's ministry meetings. She's seen a lot that works ... and some that doesn't.
Let’s jump straight into the interview.
My first question is, what qualities make an effective women’s ministry leader?
A leader needs godly character, and to sense that God has called them to that responsibility. They are women of faith and prayer. They know they are co-labouring with the Lord, so they give themselves firstly to the Lord and then in the will of God to others. They are submissive to church leadership, and will be humble and seek counsel, particularly on doctrinal or behavioural issues.
They also have people on their heart; it should be evident that they genuinely care about people’s souls. They are confidential and take an interest in people, ask questions, listen carefully and follow up. There is discernment in the way they minister; they recognise some people will be faithful fruit that remain, while others will pull away from God.
You might have one overall ministry supervisor, but multiple helpers and session/event leaders. You do have to be mature enough to realise you are not competing with other leaders or other ministry events. You are working together, under the headship of Christ. Each person will have a different style, and God can work through all of them.
How do you find the balance between spiritual and social aspects of a women’s ministry?
Your prime focus is spiritual. The Bible says that “to be spiritually minded is life and peace” (Romans 8:6b). You want people to be vibrant in their Christian life and be strengthened spiritually through these meetings.
At the same time, there is a place for informal relating, enjoying an exchange table or having supper. I think having a cup of tea after a meeting is good. If people have other responsibilities, they can slip off after the main meeting, otherwise they can stay and fellowship. That fellowship is a very precious thing. It also gives opportunities to share burdens or encouragements with one or more women afterwards, which can stimulate prayer and support. And Christian friendship is based on true fellowship, which is a oneness in the Lord.
A ladies’ group can also support female missionaries, or women on their own. Collectively, we might give towards a need or write notes of encouragement. Sometimes as a busy woman it’s hard to sit down and write a whole letter. However, if you have a little card or a card that can be shared by a few people, you can just write a few lines or maybe a scripture that’s been especially meaningful. God is able to use that to help edify other people who don’t have the same opportunities we have to fellowship freely.
How do you encourage attendance at women’s ministry events?
Pray that God will give people a desire to come. People don't come by accident; people come because God has brought them along.
Attending women’s ministry events might cost money. You might have to buy a study book, but remember you are buying a good resource. If you have a retreat or camp, ideally the church will also record the sessions, or encourage people to day visit, so that the financial cost isn’t a barrier to women receiving good teaching.
There are a couple of different perspectives on timing for regular events. Some churches run parallel Bible study streams, one during the day for mothers who will bring their children along, and one in the evening for workers and students. If you only have evening ones, you are relying on husbands to be available to look after young children so the mothers can come. That can be good for the husbands. A man doesn’t always realise the practical work involved in looking after children.
What’s your view on setting homework for Bible studies or conferences?
Our church has monthly ladies’ bible studies. The homework questions are usually a mixture of finding the answer straight from the verse and then some where you need to meditate on scripture and think about how it applies to your life. From my perspective that is not too demanding. Over the years, even when I was busy with small children, I would remind myself that the homework is achievable if I do several questions a day. I might even include them in my devotional time or afternoon rest time.
Reaping what you sow is a Biblical principle. If we invest in things that are eternal, and are faithful in studying the scriptures, then we will be blessed, able to encourage others and be that workman who is approved unto God (2 Timothy 2:15).
You want to encourage women to do the homework. However, if your circumstances are unusual leading up to that particular event, and you have done little or no homework, come anyway.
Are women’s ministries a spiritual battleground?
Definitely. Satan doesn’t want people studying the Word, because they might be saved, or they might grow. He’s a roaring lion, going around 24 hours a day, seeking whom he may devour (1 Peter 5:8). He wants to distract us, discourage us and draw us away from really applying ourselves to knowing the Lord and His Word. He hates people studying the Bible, because he loses grip as soon as you start learning about victory over temptation (1 Corinthians 10:13). Satan also hates godly friendships, because he knows how much the company we keep influences us (Psalm 1).
You need to pray before the Bible study, and you need to pray as you do the study. You might not be the group leader, but you’re also involved in the spiritual battle. Pray for the leader, pray for the participants, pray that Satan would be bound and God glorified.
How do you encourage participation during meetings such as Bible studies?
Participation is related to spiritual growth. As a leader, I would be watching and thinking about who has not participated and how to involve them. If someone is new, it might be reading a small paragraph from the study book, or a verse (check they have the right Bible version). Leaders need to trust the Lord to learn people’s name, rather than saying, “can the lady in the green jumper read the next verse?”
In a bigger group, you might include smaller group discussions. Games before a study can encourage interactions, though some games are hard for non-or new Christians to participate in if they rely on extensive Bible knowledge. Informal relating afterwards over supper can also help people not feel left on the periphery.
I think that if those who come feel welcome and included, then they will come back.
At any one ministry event, you could have unsaved women, mature Christians, singles, married women, mothers, non-mothers, best friends, strangers – aged anywhere between, say, 16 and 100 years old. How do you meet all the needs that might exist in one group?
(laughs). My first response is that you are very inadequate, but God knows the people. He knows their situation and needs. The Holy Spirit can take the Word of God and minister to people, whether they need comfort, a good-sized challenge, or encouragement to persevere in their God-given role. There are different emphases at different life stages, but the Bible is relevant to all of us.
You cannot presume that all women there are saved. It is good to share a simple Gospel message each time, and this might prompt an unsaved person to ask for help.
What attitude should attenders have?
Non-Christians might question many things in an evangelistic study.
But if we’ve come to a women’s ministry session as a Christian, we have come as learner. There is a clear expectation that the teaching will align with the church’s statement of faith and goals, and that the Bible is God’s authoritative Word. We’re not there to protest, rebel or disrupt.
If we don’t have a heart for God and His will, we won’t keep coming. We just won’t fit into a group of people who are wanting to learn.
Let’s talk now about handling problems. How do you keep a Bible Study, for instance, on track?
When I first started leading Bible studies, I was told, beware of red herrings. I didn’t understand the saying then (are herrings actually red?), but I quickly observed that some people are either easily distracted or distract others by raising peripheral issues. You need to know what the purpose of your study is and how much time you have. You need to trust the Spirit's leading, and sometimes you have to say, respectfully, “It’s good you raised that topic, and it’s important to think it through. But we will need to leave it for now and address it another time”.
Women’s ministries are under the oversight of church leadership. The course books and topics are chosen carefully and prayerfully, and it’s important to therefore submit to the agreed curriculum. A leader or participant should not be undermining this.
How do you handle conflicts of opinion or scenarios where women within the group have fallen out with each other?
They can be quite challenging situations to deal with in a public setting. People sometimes have differing views, but if we are following the Lord, then God’s Word is the authority. Sometimes conflicts are a matter of understanding. When I was a young Christian, I would hear things I thought sounded odd, but years later I realised they were true.
When it comes to personal conflict, if someone disagrees with something said, you might allow brief reasons. But you cannot permit rudeness or disrespect. The other thing I’ve found is that sometimes people come across as authoritative, but it’s because they have a strong or charismatic personality. You need to be discerning about whether what they are saying is doctrinally sound, and not allow such people to dominate.
If someone challenges the doctrinal position of the church, then the ministry supervisor might share something brief, but then defer to the Pastor to recommend a relevant resource. If you have a situation where someone is purposely, repeatedly, being a troublemaker and disruptive, then the Pastor has the authority to instruct that lady to not attend.
Any final thoughts?
Women’s ministries should seek to cover K (knowledge), U (understanding) and A (application). We want to grow in our knowledge and understanding of God, His Word, and how to live. The Bible warns that we can be hearers only (James 1:22). If we don’t apply the scriptures in our lives, we stagnate. Some studies are more practical than others, but I need to trust God to reveal what he wants me to apply. I have found it helpful to ask myself these questions:
· What does the Word of God say?
· What is my life like?
· What should I do about it?
Thank you very much!
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